Munchkin Wrangling by Divine Decree

In the horribly-cliched pattern that college students weave through every day, I was called to restrain teach the 7-going-on-8-year-old Primary class, which is great. You don't really have to plan much; the lesson manual tells you everything to do and half of the lesson time is spent telling the kids to be quiet. But deep down, I'm ashamed to say, I have a confession to make about my calling:

I'm a horrible primary teacher.

It's not that my lessons are poorly prepared. I don't feed the kids on Fast Sunday, nor do I tell the adorable little nuisances to either shut the heck up or learn what it's like to breathe through one's skin because someone happened to tie their tie too tightly. It's just that I'm a terrible disciplinarian. Sure, I guess it's bad that Jose and Daniel are poking each other incessantly during Sharing Time, but it's not like that part of the lesson is really worth listening to anyway. I'm bored; why should I force the same fate upon them?

Of course, not all (or any) of the higher-up Primary workers agree with me on this point. One in particular, Sister Dictatornazi (name has obviously been changed) has expressed her annoyance at my lack of iron-fisted authority through several disapproving looks and interventions. Okay, so she was really just trying to save Daniel's left arm from internal bleeding caused by continuted finger pressure, but I know that deep down inside we two are sworn enemies.

Luckily, the good sister is often off busy restricting the freedom of others, so there are good times in it all. One cute little girl in my class named Colette will, without fail, return to telling a story about Jeanine in her first-grade class who hurt her feelings. Mitchell knows all the answers and is very excited about everything - especially singing. He can definitely be the loudest kid in the room. Wilver's attention will sometimes wander to some far-off locale when he's asked a question, leaving the rest of us staring at him in silence while he sits staring at the upper left-hand corner of the room in silence.

In all, it's a great experience. The bishopric says that it'll be a good experience for me to simplify the basic points of the gospel to a point where children and others can understand it. I'm just hoping I'll never have to sing about how far pioneer children walked again after this summer.